Misery
by LambGraceless
Summary: An Earthling becomes the Herald. She cries a lot.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: So…I've completely run my material for The Subject dry, but I'm not abandoning it just yet! Once my Naruto muse comes back, I'll write more chapters, but right now writing what's next would require actually…watching the show and I'm not really in the mood to do that right now. So instead! I'm going to write a similar story with a world I'm currently obsessed with. Yes, folks, we're going to Thedas with our new friend Ana (who, sadly, is Marie with a different name and less social skills) The beginning will rely heavily on in game dialogue, but after she's established as the Herald, I'll be weaning away from all of that.

Anyway, let's get all of this out of the way

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age Inquisition. There is in game dialogue that I use in this story which I didn't write. I'm not profiting off of this. If I was I wouldn't still live with my parents at the age of 26.

My head is pounding like a hammer this morning. Hell, my entire body is throbbing like crazy. It must be early.

I keep my eyes closed as I curl myself into a ball of throbbing pain. Sometime during the night I must have rolled out of my bed and onto the ground, since the surface under me feels hard as a rock. It's freezing too. Thank God I slept in my clothes last night.

Wait a sec. My floor is carpeted. My eyes fly open and I gasp in shock at my surroundings.

I'm in a medieval style prison cell, dimly lit with torches and a nasty dirt floor, which I had apparently been sleeping on.

I roll into a sitting position and shake the dirt out of my hair, groaning while I observe my surroundings. Well, it's a cell. Not really much to observe. The door is probably locked so the logical thing to do is to scream for someone to explain all of this shit.

"Hey! Anyone there? I'm pretty sure imprisonment without cause is against the law, so I'd let me out of here if I were you." I yell.

There are muffled voices and loud footsteps and then silence. Guards must be getting the big boss. I shiver and huddle into a ball for warmth. I was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants with socks. Thank God I wore socks to bed last night or else I would probably have frozen feet by now.

A few minutes later, the footsteps return, with more force and number. I hear them as they run down the hallway as if the building were on fire.

The prison door flies open and a dark-haired woman steps through and glares angrily at me.

I gulp. If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now. She pulls out a rope and unlocks the cell door.

The dark haired angry lady pulls me to my feet by my collar and binds my wrists with the rope. After that she pulls me out of the cell and into the center of the room.

I whimper in fear as I fall to my knees in pain, the throbbing in my body intensifying.

I notice another woman in the doorway. She's wearing a purple hood, and she stares at me with the same intensity as the other woman. As if I murdered a bunch of people or something. All of this seems familiar, but at the moment, my brain is too much in shock to even register anything but the current situation. I'm _scared_ , and everything hurts so much. I just want to go home.

The dark-haired woman starts to walk in a circle around me.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you right now. The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for _you_." she snarls. Her eyes never leave mine as she speaks. Her accent sounds…German.

"W-what? I didn't even leave my house yesterday!" I say weakly with a sniffle. The throbbing is getting worse and it suddenly moves from my head to my…right hand.

The dark-haired woman scoffs and grabs my bound wrists. "Explain _**this**_."

Then, my hand glows a bright green, the throbbing suddenly turning into a vibrating sensation.

I scream in shock and pain as I attempt to rip myself away from the woman's grasp. The vibrating slows to a slow throb as my hand darkens as if nothing happened.

"W-what the _hell_? What did you do to me!?"

"Don't you DARE play the victim!" the dark-haired woman snarls as she raises her hand to slap me.

"We NEED her Cassandra!" the hooded woman pleads. Wait. That accent…it sounds familiar.

I look at both women in shock. I knew where I was now. At least, I knew where my brain thought it was, thanks to my obsession with all things Bioware.

I'm in Thedas. And apparently, I'm the Herald of freaking Andraste. Lovely.

I stare at the ground. "Look…I just woke up here. Before that, I was home. In bed. Asleep."

"So, you're telling us, you have no memory of what happened?" asks the hooded woman. Leliana. That's Leliana.

"None whatsoever."

"Why should we believe you?" demands Cassandra angrily.

I sniffle. I'm crying now. "I swear to Go- the Maker I'm telling the truth. I just want to go home."

Cassandra sighs in frustration. "Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift."

I stop staring at the ground and star at the door as Leliana nods and walks away.

I wipe my nose and my eyes. I probably looked pathetic to these women.

"Um…take me to what?" I say, as if I didn't know this entire game by heart.

"It will be easier to just show you." Cassandra helps me to my feet.

She leads me outside and I wasn't prepared at all.

The sky was torn apart. To be honest, it was quite beautiful, in a world ending sort of way. I stare at the sky in awe.

"We call it the Breach. It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It's not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave."

I open my mouth to say something but realize what I had to say might sound stupid, so I just nod in acknowledgement.

"Unless we act, the breach may grow until it swallows the world."

As on cue, the Mark starts to throb into a painful flashing vibration, the shock of it throws me to the ground. I clutch my hands under me in agony.

"Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this but there isn't much time."

I nod slowly. "Well…I'm not sure how much help I'll be…but I'll try."

Cassandra nods in approval. "Alright. Let's go."

"Um…Before we go can I get some proper shoes? I have really bad feet…"

After grabbing a pair of ill-fitting boots from a chest, Cassandra leads me outside. My hands are still bound, and I can feel the eyes of the people around me.

"They have decided your guilt. They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together. Now, they are dead." Cassandra explains as we walk towards the gate.

"It doesn't seem logical that only one person is responsible for all of this destruction." I murmur, mostly to myself.

"And you are right. But in their grief, they lash out, like the sky. But we must think beyond ourselves, as she did. Until the breach is sealed."

Cassandra pulls out a knife, and cuts the rope from my wrists.

"There will be a trial. I can promise no more." she states grimly.

 _No, there won't._

"Come. It's not far." Cassandra motions to the soldiers guarding the gate to open and begins the trek.

I follow her.

"So…where are you taking me?" I ask.

"Your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach. I'm taking you to a small rift caused by it."

I gulp. "Lead on, then."

We barely make it past the gates when my mark flares up again, causing me to fall down face first in the snow.

I contemplated just lying there and dying of exposure, but I had a world to save. I roll over and accept Cassandra's offered hand to pull myself on my feet.

"The pulses are coming faster now. The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face." she says as I shake the snow off of my body. I shiver. I was only wearing sweatpants and a soft purple t-shirt that said "Psychoanaleses for everyone" (an: bonus points for knowing the reference) in white lettering surrounding a cross. I wasn't even wearing a bra, which made me self-conscious as my nipples were poking out of the fabric. It wasn't extremely cold, but I could still feel goosebumps on my arms. I rub my exposed arms for warmth.

"So…was I actually at this Conclave when it exploded? You'll have to refresh my memory."

Cassandra nods. "They said you… stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was. Everything farther in the valley was laid waste, including the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I suppose you'll see soon enough."

"Yay." I mutter.

As we walk, I try to come to terms with my predicament. I knew we were about to encounter the first demon and I had no combat training whatsoever. I look over at Cassandra. She was going to have to defend the both of us because God knows if I tried to defend myself against freaking demons, I'd get myself killed. So, when the time comes, I'm going to cower behind her like the out of shape lazy bum that I am.

Ah, well. Cass can handle it. She's badass like that.

We're crossing a bridge when a fucking flaming meteor falls from the sky, destroying the bridge, knocking us on our asses on the surface of a frozen lake.

Cassandra recovers quickly, readying her sword and shield for battle.

"Stay behind me" she yells, as she charges towards the shade that was attacking us.

I went and found the closest crate to hide behind. There were several weapons in said crate, but I didn't reach for any of them. I'd get completely slaughtered and I highly doubt that whoever dropped me here gave me any magic and if they did, I wouldn't know how to use it or even know what it felt like.

So, I hid there in the fetal position until Cassandra killed it. Like a champ. Ana McDirmid: Herald of Andraste, everyone.

"It's dead. I'm surprised you did not try to escape or arm yourself."

I stare at the ground in shame. "I…don't know how to use any of these weapons."

Cassandra's eyes widen in shock. "Truly?"

I nod. "If I tried to use any of these, I'd make myself a liability."

Cassandra purses her lips in thought. "Stay close to me and run where I tell you to run. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

We're ambushed ten minutes later. I find a good tree to hide behind while Cassandra slaughters all the glowing bad guys. It really pains me that I can't even defend myself in this world. My jaw clenches in frustration as I curl myself up in a ball. The throbbing was getting worse, and I felt a constant vibrating hum in addition to the throbbing and shivering. I'm from the South. We never get temperatures like this and I'm not wearing a jacket which makes the wind bite that much harder.

After the fight Cassandra finds me so we could move on.

"I feel so useless." I mutter pitifully.

"Be thankful you've never had the need to learn how to fight. It means you've lead a peaceful life up until now." comments Cassandra. "We're getting close to the rift. You can hear the fighting."

Ah, yes. Time to meet Varric and Solas, the man who inadvertently caused this mess.

"W-what do you want me to do?" I ask nervously.

"Stay out of the way."

I smile weakly. "I can do that."

We approach the battle cautiously. The two men were holding off the hordes rather admirably on their own all things considered.

When Cassandra charged into the fray, Solas looks over in my general direction while Varric focused on killing whatever was attacking him.

When Solas notices me, he erects a barrier around himself and bolts towards my position.

He reaches me and firmly grabs my wrist.

"Quickly, before more come through!" he says urgently, pulling me towards the tear in the Veil.

When we reach the Rift, he thrusts my hand towards the thing. The strong vibrations come to a head, and then dissipates.

Solas lets go of my wrist and smiles.

I nervously return the gesture, since I was rendered speechless by his presence. My first (and only) Inquisitor was an elf that had her heart (and my heart) torn to pieces by this man.

Plus, y'know, he's the Dalish Loki and it's his fault that the Breach is in the sky to begin with.

Words…I need to say words.

"Uh…. thank you for that." I say, trying not to meet his eyes.

"No need. _I_ did nothing. The credit is yours."

I could feel my cheeks warming my face in a blush. "You were the one who aimed the mark." I mumble.

"Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake – and it seems I was correct."

"Meaning we could also close the Breach itself." Cassandra interjects.

"Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation."

My blush gets warmer.

Varric comes to my rescue. "Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever. Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong." He smiles at me and winks in Cassandra's general direction, to which she responds with one of her famous 'disgusted noises' paired with an annoyed scowl.

I grin, the awkwardness of meeting one of my many, many fictional crushes forgotten.

"I'm Ana McDirmid. It's nice to meet you, Varric."

Solas chuckles. "You may reconsider that stance, in time."

"Aww. I'm sure we'll become great friends in the valley, Solas." says Varric.

"So…um… What now?" I ask. As much as I'd love to go through the rest of the conversation, I'd much rather get to safety. Y'know. Away from demons.

"Now we go meet Leliana." says Cassandra.

"What a great idea!" chimes in Varric cheerfully.

"Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but…"

Varric rolls his eyes. "Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren't in control anymore. You need me."

Cassandra scoffs in frustration and Varric grins in triumph.

"My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I'm pleased to see you still live."

Inwardly I'm kicking myself for being so easily flustered around this man. But I couldn't help it. His very essence oozes sensuality and it's very distracting and…ahm. Arousing. But I must control myself. Even if this was a dream of which I'm about 75% certain that it is not. The physical pain I've felt feels very real. But even if this were a dream, I must not let myself get too infatuated with him.

Hopefully he won't look twice at me since I'm a dirty dirty shemlen.

Varric knocks me out of my thoughts yet again. "He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'"

I turn to Solas with a smile. "Thank you."

"Thank me if we manage to close the Breach without killing you in the process. Cassandra, you should know: the magic involved here is unlike any I have ever seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power."

My mouth drops open. "I'm a _what_?"

Solas eyes me doubtfully. "Did you not know? I find that very difficult to believe. I could sense your magic before I even laid eyes upon you."

My brain was completely useless at this revelation, so I just stare at him blankly in disbelief.

Cassandra gives Solas a Look (you know the one). "If she were a mage, I would have known."

Solas returns her Look with a Smug Look of his own.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Seeker, but your sensing abilities only work when a mage is using their power. Judging by the look on Ana's face, she had not known of her abilities, therefore she could not have cast any spells."

"Guys, I think we could probably postpone this discussion when we're not being assaulted by demons." interjects Varric, readying Bianca for the push to the forward camp.

Solas nods. "Agreed. We must move quickly."

When we approached the other frozen lake, we were ambushed by demons again. I froze in fear. We were in an open space and I couldn't find any structure that wasn't on fire to hide behind.

Solas moves towards me and casts a barrier around the both of us, while Varric and Cassandra push forward into an attack.

"Stay close behind me and you'll be safe." he orders.

While they fight, I study Solas, whom was otherwise occupied in keeping the barrier around us, and shooting fireballs and lightning bolts at demons. His movements were fluid, and graceful. His eyes were focused on the targets with such intensity. Occasionally, he'd stop and renew the barrier protecting us with a wave of his hand. It took a ridiculous amount of control to not swoon as I watched him fight.

Stop. No. Bad Ana. It's not sexy. It's dangerous. He's dangerous. Solas is not a man you should be swooning over. Remember what happened in the game? Remember Trespasser?

My thoughts were interrupted by the Mark flashing and sending yet another jolt of pain that brought me to the ground yet again.

Solas stops his attack and focuses all of his energy on the barrier while Varric and Cassandra finished off the demons.

He takes my hand and helps me to my feet.

"We need to move. Now." he says to the rest of the team.

Onward we go.

"So, I take it you're from the Free Marches?" says Varric conversationally.

"Um..what?"

"Accent. I'm from Kirkwall but you're from… further east, maybe?"

"Quite the ear you have." I say dryly, wincing at the pain in my hand.

"I'm all kinds of impressive." Varric says in confidence. Cassandra snorts and rolls her eyes.

The mark flares again and I fall flat on my face in the snow for the fourth time for those at home keeping count.

Varric rushes towards me and pulls me into a sitting position.

"Shit. You alright?"

I shiver at the cold and sniffle. "No. No I'm not." And then I start to cry. A lot.

Cassandra stops and gives me a Look. "We must keep going."

"I-It h-hurts!" I stammer between sobs and shivers. "I w-want to go h-home."

"Don't we all…" Varric mutters under his breath, shrugging off his coat. He hands it to me.

"Here, you need this more than I do."

"T-thank you." I say, wrapping the coat around myself. "It's been a rough day."

"It's been a rough day for all of us, though I think you've got the worst of it, especially if you're innocent in all of this mess. Are you?"

"Am I what?" I ask.

"Innocent."

"I…actually don't remember."

Varric chuckles. "That'll get you every time. Should have spun a story."

"That's what _you_ would have done." states Cassandra.

Varric shrugs. "It's more believable, and less prone to result in premature execution."

When we reach the forward camp, we are thrown into chaos. The Rift swirls above them, expelling demons from it at a steady pace. The Mark lights up like a Christmas tree in response, and I hiss in pain.

Solas grabs me and erects another barrier around us.

"We're going to fight our way to the center. Once we're clear of demons, use the mark to close the Rift." he orders. I nod, and they begin the push.

Solas and I move towards the rift. I grab onto the hem of his shirt with my left hand, in an effort to not separate myself from him and his barriers. I raise my right hand and somehow the Mark connects itself to the Rift, interacting with it and causing disruptions.

I hold my hand high, wincing at the connection. It's uncomfortable, but apparently, I was chosen by God to do this, so I must endure. Thanks God.

Finally the Rift dissolves away in a blinding flash of light.

"The Rift is gone. Open the gate." shouts Cassandra.

As the gates open, Solas gives me a small smile.

"We are clear for the moment. Well done." he says.

"Whatever that thing on your hand is, it's useful." comments Varric.

I blush and stare at my feet as we enter the forward camp. "Thanks…I suppose."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The forward camp is little more of a supply refill station filled with exhausted and on-the-edge soldiers. They look about as tired as I feel.

I spot Leliana in the distance. She's arguing with a man dressed up in some sort of strange white outfit. I'm assuming that's Chancellor Roderick.

We approach them, and Leliana breathes an audible sigh of relief.

"You made it! Chancellor Roderick, this is – "

"I know who she is! As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution." interrupts Chancellor Roderick.

Cassandra's eyes flash dangerously. "'Order me'? You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat!"

"And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry!"

I sigh audibly. This really isn't the time for this.

"We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor, as you well know." interjects Leliana, clearly annoyed by this man's presence.

"Justinia is dead! We must elect her replacement, and obey _her_ orders on the matter."

That's it. I had to say something.

"This REALLY isn't the time to squabble about Chantry politics. There is a gigantic-ass hole in the sky and the only thing you can think about is electing a new freaking _religious leader_?"

Roderick's already red face became even redder with anger. "WELL if YOU hadn't killed our Divine and tore open the sky we wouldn't be in this mess! Call a retreat, Seeker. Our position here is hopeless."

"We can stop this before it's too late." states Cassandra firmly.

Roderick scoffs. "How? You won't survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers."

"We must get to the temple. It's the quickest route."

"But not the safest. Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains." interjects Leliana.

Cassandra shakes her head. "We lost contact with an entire squad on that path. It's too risky."

"Listen to me. Abandon this now, before more lives are lost." says Roderick.

It was then that the Mark decided to rear its ugly head. I screech in agony. Varric holds me steady while Solas quickly assesses the damage done and attempts to lessen the pain with a healing spell.

Then Cassandra looks at me with her determined eyes. "How do _you_ think we should proceed?"

The healing spell seemed to have a side effect on my brain as I look at both Cassandra and Roderick and _cackle_ like a madwoman.

This offends Roderick to the highest possible degree. His face turns an even darker shade of red. " _What_ is so funny?"

I stop laughing and maintain my composure. "I'm sorry. It's just…first you guys demand that I be executed and then you ask for my opinion. _In the same conversation!_ "

"You have the mark." states Solas.

"And you are the one we must keep alive. Since we cannot agree on our own…" says Cassandra.

"Fine. What are my options?"

"We either charge with the troops or take the mountain pass."

"Look at me, Seeker. Do you think I'd survive a mountain hike in my condition? The choice is obvious."

When we arrive at the rendezvous point, we're immediately thrown into chaos caused by the Rift above them and my mark lights up appropriately.

I take my position close behind Solas and we make our way towards the rift while safely protected in a shiny blue bubble of magical energy. I clench my teeth in pain. Just two more rifts and I can rest. I can stand two more. Hopefully I won't get eaten by the Pride demon during the boss fight.

Out of the corner of my eye I think I spot Cullen fighting alongside his men. By spot I mean I see a flash of a blond guy dressed in a black furry cape fighting demons. The pain made it extremely difficult to concentrate on anything but my hand and the energy I felt surrounding Solas and I.

Magic? Hell if I know. It actually felt kind of nice and kept my mind off of the searing pain in my right hand.

Mostly. Still hurt like a motherfucker though.

Solas and I move towards the rift as the fighting rages towards its inevitable end.

I wait for the right moment before raising my hand and waited for the Mark to do its thing. It snaps the Rift shut and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this." Solas gives me yet another subtle smile that makes my entire face heat up.

I giggle nervously in response. "Now if only I could erect my own barriers."

"In time, you will."

If I don't get eaten by a Pride demon in the next ten minutes.

Varric places Bianca on his shoulder and stretches. "Let's hope that mark of yours works on the big one."

The blond guy that I assume was Cullen approaches us.

He tiredly smiles at Cassandra. "Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done."

Cassandra shakes her head. "Do not congratulate me, Commander. This is the prisoner's doing."

Cullen looks at me with a quizzical expression on his face. "Is it? I hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of people getting you here."

I avert his gaze bashfully. "For what it's worth, I'll try my best to fix all of this."

He smiles wistfully in response. "That's all we can ask. The way to the temple should be clear. Leliana will try to meet you there."

"Then we'd best move quickly. Give us time, Commander." says Cassandra.

"Maker watch over you – for all our sakes."

"And to you as well." I mumble.

Cullen nods in acknowledgement at the gesture and leaves to attend to his men.

We journey further into the ruins.

"The Temple of Sacred Ashes…" remarks Solas wistfully as he observes the surroundings with a neutral expression.

"What's left of it." Varric mutters under his breath.

"That is where you walked out the Fade and our soldiers found you." remarks Cassandra.

"Are you saying I walked out of here? Consciously?" I ask.

Cassandra nods. "I believe so. You do not remember?"

I shake my head. "I just remember falling asleep at home. In my own bed."

"Holy shit, Bluebird. That's some alibi." Varric remarks.

I turn to him and smile. "Bluebird?"

"Your eyes are a vibrant shade of blue and your voice is musical. I thought it fit."

"So do you give nicknames to everyone you meet?" I ask.

"Almost everyone. There are a few exceptions. Such as the Guard-Captain of Kirkwall. And Seeker Cassandra over here."

"And why is that?" I ask.

"Both of them scare the shit out of me."

Cassandra rolls her eyes in annoyance and takes the lead.

Leliana was there to meet us inside the temple with a handful of soldiers. Behind them way, way further down, a Rift sputters and crackles. The mark starts to activate on my hand causing erratic flashes of pain. I wince. I've actually gotten used to the pain, as it had been near constant ever since I woke up. Still..I want it gone.

Leliana flashes Cassandra an expression of relief and waves us over to join the group.

"You're here! Thank the Maker."

Cassandra gets right down to business. "Leliana, have your men take up positions around the temple."

Leliana nods. "Alright." She goes and calls her men in for a final group huddle.

Solas, Varric, and Cassandra form a sort of final group huddle of our own.

Cassandra looks at me. "This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?"

I give her a blank stare. Oh, dear, sweet, naїve Cassie…it is only the beginning.

"No." I say weakly. "I'm scared." Tears start to prick my eyes and I rub them quickly. Oh God I'm crying again. I'm so freaking pathetic.

"I know. But you agreed to do this."

"I'm the only one who can." I murmur. I take a ragged breath and attempt to stop feeling sorry for myself. "Alright. What's so special about this particular rift?"

"This rift was the first and is the key. Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach." Solas says. His arms are folded behind his back and he's in full expert mode.

I closed my eyes and sent a silent prayer to God for strength. In the game, I had trouble with this fight. How was I going to fare with no combat skills against a pride demon that could crush me?

God, please don't let me die. Please help me save this world. Please let me go home.

"Amen..." I murmur softly.

I open my eyes to see my three companions giving me various looks of confusion.

"Did you say something, Bluebird?"

Shit. Did I say that out loud?

"I…uh… said 'let's go'." I say nervously.

"Then let's find a way down. And be _careful_." warns Cassandra.

The group manages to find a way down to the center of the temple. We moved slowly and carefully. The Mark crackles in anticipation, but I manage to ignore it and continue to move forward. At least, until the voices start.

" _ **Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the sacrifice."**_ Corypheous' voice booms and vibrates through the entire structure.

I wince. Hopefully the memory doesn't trigger an avalanche with such vibration. It didn't in the game, but then again that was a game. This is real life. Kinda. Maybe. I still wasn't 100% certain that this was all one extremely vivid dream and I was in fact, a vegetable in a hospital coma ward.

"What are we hearing?" wonders Cassandra out loud.

"At a guess: The person who created the Breach." says Solas, in his best theorizing voice.

I bite my tongue as hard as I can, but a strangled noise manages to slip past my lips.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" asks Solas, his voice lacing with concern. He moves closer and makes a move to grab the hand that carries the Mark.

I shake my head quickly and move ahead next to Cassandra as fast as possible.

Cassandra side eyes me with confusion as I take a deep breath.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"Are…you sure you're okay?" she asks.

I put on my best 'Everything is Great' expression and nod affirmingly. "I'm…fabulous." I say cheerfully.

"If you say so…"

The red lyrium crystals decorate the walls of the temple as we move downward.

"You know this stuff is red lyrium, Seeker." hisses Varric. The look on his face is one of surprise and disgust.

"I see it, Varric." snaps Cassandra, maintaining her calm and cool demeanor.

"But what it's _doing_ here?"

"Magic could have drawn on lyrium beneath the temple, corrupted it…" theorizes Solas calmly.

"It's evil. Whatever you do don't touch it." Varric says with a shudder.

" _ **Keep the sacrifice still."**_

" _ **Someone help me!"**_

"That's Divine Justinia's voice!" declares Cassandra. Her mask of calmness slips for only a moment, before sliding back into place. We move forward.

My hand is starting to light up, the pain getting more and more intense. I grit my teeth. I can do this.

" _ **Someone help me!"**_

"… _ **Oh my God…Where the hell am I!? What the HELL is this!?"**_

I freeze. That was my voice.

"That was your voice. Most Holy called out to you. But…"

Cassandra is cut off by a blinding flash of white light.

 _My ghostly figure is there, surveys the horror in front of her with the survival instincts of a baby deer on the highway in the middle of the night._

"… _Oh.. my God…Where the hell am I!? What the HELL is this!?" Fade-ghost me cries in horror._

 _Divine Justinia floats in midair, helpless._

" _Run while you can! Warn them!" she screams at me. But of course, I'm an idiot. I'm too scared to move. I stand there, frozen with confusion, horror and fright._

" _ **We have an intruder. Kill her now."**_

Then the images disappear.

Cassandra glares at me. "You _were_ there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?"

I'm speechless and I'm pretty sure I'm quivering with fear. But I have to say something.

"I..I..I.." I feel tears welling up in my eyes yet again and I force myself to answer.

"I-I don't remember any of this happening. I swear to God! I just want to go home!" I sob.

Cassandra grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye. "I have had it with your helpless act, mage!" she snarls, which makes me cry harder. I hate it when people yell at me.

When people yell at me, my brain shuts off and my tear ducts take over. Any argument I would have to defend myself was always lost in tears and emotion. Childhood trauma is a bitch.

"Ladies, _ladies_! We can assign blame later. Right now, we need to get rid of that thing before it swallows all of us!" Varric steps in between us and pushes Cassandra away from me.

"Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place. This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark, the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side." says Solas. He had obviously been ignoring the girl drama that had been unfolding and was actually focusing on the task at hand.

"So…what do I do?" I ask with a sniffle.

"Present the mark to the Rift, like before, I would think." he answers. "Cassandra, Varric, and myself will protect you from whatever spills out the Rift. All you need to do is use the mark."

"I…can do that. I think." I mumble.

"Gonna be alright, Bluebird?" asks Varric.

I shrug. "We'll see how this goes. I'm as ready as I'm going to be."

Solas and I reach the Rift, which was sputtering and sparking. I hold out my hand like I'm supposed to.

And then the chaos starts.

A giant roar fills the ruins. The Pride Demon is right on schedule.

"Focus on the Rift! Do not take your eyes off of it!" yells Solas.

I gulp and nod slowly, keeping my hand steady as I attempt to shut out the noises of the fighting around me.

I don't know how long it went on. Five…maybe ten minutes. I could feel my life force draining lower and lower by the minute.

Finally I felt the Mark start to slow, and the Rift closes with a loud crack.

And then everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I've gotten some really nice comments on here and AO3 for the past few chapters. Thank you so much, guys!

 **KotOR-Luvr:** Thank you so much! And that's actually the reason I made her a mage, since she's not physically trained for combat. Also for…other reasons *embarrassed cough*

Chapter 3

I regain consciousness slowly. I rub my eyes before opening them to reveal a simple wooden ceiling.

My eyes close again and I breathe a sigh of relief. I made it. I'm alive. I didn't get eaten like I thought I would.

I open my eyes again and stretch my limbs. The constant throbbing I associated with The Mark is gone, but I could still feel a light pulse of...something throughout my body. It wasn't painful it was just…there. Weird.

After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, I decide it's time to face my adoring fans…

I look down at my attire. I was wearing the standard Inquisitor pajamas, which were a little tight for my taste. Someone must have changed my clothes while I was unconscious.

I sit up on the bed and adjust my shirt in discomfort. The outfit they chose for me was not flattering in the least. It made my stomach poke out and I'm guessing it made my butt look ginormous as well.

With an annoyed groan I stand up and stretch my legs.

The door opens and an elf lady with a box walks inside.

She drops the box and makes a noise of surprise and immediately falls to her knees.

"Oh! I didn't know you were awake, I swear!" The elf woman bows to the ground as if I were royalty.

I look at her and sigh. This scene always bothers me because she's so scared of me and I've done nothing to warrant this kind of behavior. It's all the Chantry's fault. While I have no qualms with faith, hell I believe in God myself, I don't really understand the Church's (or the Chantry's for that matter) obsession with fear of the unknown. God gave us the capacity for rational thought and yet the masses decide that they would rather place their head in the sand and blindly follow whatever rhetoric their religion states.

This way of thinking had to change and since I'm already the Herald of Andraste, I might as well use that title to influence the Chantry and Thedas as a whole. If I don't die horribly, that is.

"Woah. I'm not going to hurt – "

"That's wrong, isn't it? I said the wrong thing." The woman starts to quiver in fear.

"No! You're f—"

"I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant. You're back in Haven, my lady. They say you saved us. The breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. It's all anyone has talked about for the last three days!"

"I've been out for three days!?" I ask.

The woman nods. "Yes, milady. I'm sure Lady Cassandra will want to know you've wakened. She said 'at once'!"

"And…where is she?"

"In the Chantry with the Lord Chancellor. 'At once,' she said!"

The young woman scurries out of the hut like a cat avoiding water.

Well…that was…odd.

I contemplate going back to bed because I am not ready to deal with whatever's outside right now.

I search the small hut for some kind of outerwear. Sure enough, there is a leather coat in the chest of drawers next to the bed.

I don the coat, and run my fingers through my hair. Yup. Greasy and disgusting. Perfect. I'd kill for a hair tie right now, since I hate the feeling of sweaty greasy hair sticking to my body. I'd also kill for a mirror. I'll bet I look like shit.

I open the door just a crack and take a peek. Sure enough, there are a shitload of people outside and they're all looking at my hut. That servant chick must have told everyone she could that I was awake. Great.

After a cleansing breath, I open the door and prepare myself to meet the masses. I give my best smile and wave nervously to the townspeople that came out to see my awakening.

I survey the town and my eyes are immediately drawn to the giant-ass white building that I'm guessing is the Chantry.

I managed to make it to the Chantry with minimal embarrassment or accosting. People would see me and whisper amongst themselves. Honestly I'm surprised that they know what I look like. I consider myself an average looking person and I don't think I look any different from the townsfolk here. Perhaps it's the small-town phenomenon. Everybody knows everyone and if someone new shows up it's big news. Both sides of my family have relatives from those kinds of towns. It's actually really annoying sometimes when we visit since everyone knows who we are and whom we're related to.

I could hear the yelling the moment I walked into the building. Chancellor Roderick was apparently very angry.

"Have you gone completely mad? She should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whomever becomes Divine."

Ahh…Roderick and his obsession with following whomever is in charge. I really don't think my trial is under the Divine's jurisdiction, is it? The Conclave Incident happened in Ferelden, didn't it?

"I do not believe she is guilty."

Go Cass. Defend me like a champ.

"The prisoner failed, Seeker. For all you know, she could have planned it this way."

I stand in front of the door, waiting for them to finish their conversation before I entered.

"I do not believe that!" affirms Cassandra passionately.

"That is not for you to decide. Your duty is to the serve the Chantry."

"My duty is to serve the principles on which the Chantry was founded, Chancellor. As is yours."

I decide that was enough and open the door. The advisors and Cassandra are standing around the war table with Chancellor Roderick at the edge.

He notices me immediately and turns his anger from Cassandra towards me.

"Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial." he yells, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction.

Cassandra rolls her eyes.

"Disregard that, and leave us." she says to the guards. They salute her and leave the room.

Roderick continues to give both me and Cassandra the stink eye. Such an angry little man.

"You walk a dangerous line, Seeker." he says, his voice laced with malice.

Cassandra looks at Roderick dismissively. "The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it."

"Sooo…does that mean ya'll need my help to deploy more magical Band-Aids?" I ask timidly.

Roderick glares at me. "You have done plenty. Your actions will be taken into account by the new Divine."

I stare at him in disbelief and it takes all of my self-control not to call the man out on his utter ignorance regarding our current situation. Yes, the Divine wields a ton of power, much like the Pope did back in the Middle Ages. Back in the days before Protestantism, the Pope was considered to have more power than any king in Europe. In fact, the King's divine right to rule a Christian nation came from the Pope bestowing the privilege upon him. To a man like Roderick, a man who apparently has no mind of his own, a man who needs that divine guidance to make the big decisions for him, electing a new Divine is the only solution to fixing the problem properly in his eyes.

"Have a care, Chancellor. The Breach is not the only threat we face." says Cassandra.

Leliana looks up from her files on the War Table. "Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others – or have allies who yet live."

Roderick is aghast. " _I_ am a suspect?"

Leliana nods. "You, and many others."

"But _not_ the prisoner."

"I heard the voices in the temple. The Divine called to her for help." says Cassandra pensively.

"So, her survival, that thing on her hand – all a coincidence?" Roderick says, waving his arm dismissively in my direction.

"Providence. The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour." says Cassandra.

Faith is a powerful thing, I realize. Maybe I could get away with telling them part of the actual truth. My eyes shift over the room carefully. It's worth a try.

"I..um…have something to confess. But it does not leave this room." I say. Here we go.

Everyone gives me their full attention and this confession doesn't feel like such a good idea anymore.

"I…am not from Thedas. Something…or someone transported me to the Temple of Sacred Ashes."

Roderick scoffs. "Oh, please. Don't be ridiculous."

"I-It's the truth!"

"Prove it."

Leliana looks at me with curiosity. "The clothing you were wearing when we imprisoned you had writing in a language that I've never seen before."

"I have also have heard you use expressions that are unfamiliar to me…" muses Cassandra. "It would make sense that the Maker would send someone not of this world to save us. Perhaps someone from His realm."

I resist the urge to facepalm. "Whoa whoa whoa. No one's saying that I'm the second coming of Andraste."

"Blasphemy." mutters Roderick angrily. "Andraste would _never_ inhabit a weak individual such as yourself."

"What I'm trying to say is that I share your belief, Cassandra. Divine powers are at work here. There is no other explanation for what's happening to me."

"The Breach remains and your mark is our only hope of closing it." comments Leliana.

Roderick scoffs. "That is not for you to decide."

Cassandra leaves the room for a moment. I'm assuming she's retrieving the big ass book of the Inquisition.

Sure enough, she returns with a gigantic tome and slams the book on the table in a dramatic fashion.

"You know what this is, Chancellor? A writ from the Divine, granting us authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn." She glares at Roderick and steps toward him, glaring daggers with each step until he's pressed himself against the door.

"We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order with or without your approval."

Roderick lets out an offended huff and leaves the room, slamming the door angrily.

"This is the Divine's directive. Rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who will stand against the chaos. We aren't ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and now no Chantry support." Leliana says grimly.

"But we have no choice: We must act now. With you at our side." states Cassandra.

I look at the giant book curiously. Why the hell was it so big? What was the book about? Why am I here?

"Back in my world, we had similar organizations hundreds of years ago." I murmur. "Formed to combat heresy and convert nonbelievers. Those who weren't converted were exiled or, more commonly, burned at the stake. The name implies that we're trying to start a holy war."

"We are already at war. You are already involved. Its mark is upon you. As to whether to war is holy… that depends on what we discover." says Cassandra.

"So…all we're doing is looking for the truth about this incident and trying to find a way to fix this mess?"

Leliana nods. "That's right."

"So…we're not going to hunt down renegade mages and burn them at the stake or anything like that?"

Cassandra snorts in disapproval. "Of course not."

"Then I'm in."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Trigger warning for a semi-detailed depiction of a mild to severe anxiety/panic attack.**

Chapter 4

I excuse myself for some air after that fiasco. I had yet to explore Haven and I needed some nice quiet contemplation away from the inner circle.

So, I step outside the Chantry, take a deep and cleansing breath and start walking in a random direction. Should I check on Varric and Solas? See how they're doing?

Nah, I don't think I'm mentally prepared to talk with either of them one-on-one _. Especially_ Solas. Every conversation I've ever had with the man usually ended with me getting flustered and my hormones might make me accidentally reveal something that I don't want him to know.

The game was actually pretty accurate about the size of Haven. It was freaking tiny. It only took me fifteen minutes to walk around the entire town. The villagers that noticed me would stop and whisper amongst themselves excitedly which made me uncomfortable.

Lucky for me, Solas and Varric were indoors so I wasn't obligated to say hello to them.

I find myself at the gates and decide to leave and check out the scenery out by the frozen lake. Since I'm from the South, I don't ever see snow and when it does snow, it is usually very little, and it melts almost immediately. There was a part of me that wanted to go out to the forest and build a snowman because I've never made one before. Hmmm…Perhaps when I'm not under as much scrutiny. I'm pretty sure the Inner Circle have their eyes on me anywhere I go at the moment.

When I reach the pier, I sit on the edge and take it all in. The view is gorgeous and for the first time in the past few days, everything is quiet for a while. I close my eyes happily and cherish the silence. It's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

"Lovely view, is it not?"

"JESUS CHRIST"

I jump and shout in surprise at the voice, my feet landing on the frozen lake.

I turn around. It's Solas. He's sporting a slightly amused expression.

"Apologies. Did I startle you?"

"I…uh. What're you doing out here?" I ask.

"The same as you, I assume. Seeking a brief respite from the current chaos of Haven." he says casually.

"I needed some fresh air and quiet after…everything. It's overwhelming."

"I can imagine. Walk with me?" Solas offers his hand and pulls me back onto the dock. I brush myself off and we venture forth.

We walk in a comfortable silence, breathing in the winter air and watching the forest animals go about their business.

A stray thought crosses my mind. Magic. I need Solas to teach me magic. Now's a good time to ask. If he's right

"Um…Solas?"

"Yes?"

"You…said I was a mage…right?"

Solas chuckles. "You don't sound very certain"

" _You_ were the one who mentioned that I had magic. Could you be wrong? I've never cast a spell in my life."

Solas looks at me curiously. "Is that so? I sense great magical potential within you. Surely you've cast a spell by accident before?"

I shake my head. "Never."

"Interesting…I would like to test you, if you don't mind cooperating."

"Um…what do you need me to do?"

"Close your eyes."

I close my eyes.

He's quiet for about a minute.

"Do you hear anything other than the sounds of the forest?"

"I've been hearing this…hum ever since I received the mark."

"I see. Do you feel anything other than the breeze?"

"Tingling…but I thought that was the mark as well."

A chuckle. "That's not the Mark. It is your magic."

I open my eyes and shoot him a questioning look. "What?"

"That is how magical energy feels. You channel that energy with your mind and use it to cast spells."

"That…sounds a bit _too_ simple."

"Well…I may be simplifying the process a bit, yes." says Solas with a hint of smugness to his voice. "With proper training, however, I see you becoming quite the powerful mage. You have the potential, if you put in the effort."

I snort. "I've never been good at anything in my entire life, so I highly doubt that."

"And why do you say that?"

"People have told me as much." I say with a shrug. "I've kind of accepted being mediocre as my talent."

"I see." Solas studies me with a neutral expression on his face. He did not pressure me to elaborate, which was relieving. I wasn't about to explain my self-confidence issues with a man I just met, whose name _literally_ means pride.

The once-comfortable silence that we shared earlier transitions into painful awkwardness.

I blush slightly in embarrassment as we continue to hike. I made things weird. _Again_. Why do I keep doing this? I clench my teeth in frustration.

"Something on your mind?" asks Solas with a hint of amusement in his voice.

My face flushes. "J-just my current situation. Y'know."

He nods in understanding. "I see. I'm told that many are calling you the 'Herald of Andraste.'"

"Yeah. It's…unsettling."

A chuckle. "I can imagine."

This makes me clench my teeth angrily. This man is the _reason_ for all of this shit. If it wasn't for his _stupid_ orb and his _stupid_ restoration plan, I probably would be home right now. Safe. Without the fate of an entire world on my shoulders.

A wave of emotion hits me, and I clench both of my hands into fists.

"What's wrong?" asks Solas, the concern in his voice making my blood boil hotter.

"NO-thing." I say, catching myself before I yelled the word. I relax my face and give him an artificial grin. "I'm fine. I think I need to go now."

"I'll walk you back."

I shake my head. "No. I'll be fine. I'm not a _child_."

I turn on my heels and stalk back towards my Haven to the solitary refuge of my cabin, leaving Solas in the forest alone.

I power-walk back to Haven in record time. I made sure to suppress my emotions that were bubbling to the surface until I got indoors.

One I reach the hut, I assume is mine, I slam the door as hard as I can and sink to the floor, my back facing the door.

All of the emotions I had built up from the past two days came crashing down on me as the tears start falling and I bury my face in my knees.

"I can't do this." I whisper to myself. "I'm going to die. This world is going to die because I'm their freakin' Herald and I can barely take care of myself."

My heart starts to pound rapidly as the dam breaks and waves of emotion start to flow through as I sob heavily.

The more I dwell on my situation, the more distress I feel and the harder I sob. Eventually it becomes harder and harder to breath. I gasp for air.

"I can't...I can't…I can't…" I repeat these words again and again, leaning my back against the door, gasping for air, pounding my fists against the floor.

I start to feel light headed, which is usually a good sign to start calming oneself down. But at the moment, I couldn't give a damn. I continued to let the dam of emotions and anxiety bleed through.

Until everything went black.

I regain consciousness slowly. Something warm and wet was on my forehead. I was lying down on a bed…or whatever passes for a bed these days. The smell of herbs and spices fills the air.

I groan. I've passed out twice in the span of several days. I've never passed out in my entire life.

"Ah. You're finally awake." says a grumpy male voice. "I wouldn't recommend sitting up just yet. Give yourself a minute or so. Bet your head feels like shit."

"No kidding." I mutter as I open my eyes. "What…happened?"

"A servant girl found you unconscious against the door of your hut. Poor thing panicked and brought you straight to me."

"How long?"

"Couple hours. Are you going to make this a habit?" asks the grumpy voice. I'm assuming this ray of sunshine is Adan, the man in charge of potions and shit at Haven.

I groan. "Your bedside manner is really _fantastic_ , Doc."

" _Alchemist_."

"Whatever." I mutter. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

My stomach growls.

"Do you have any food or something? I don't think I've eaten since…"

Shit. I don't think I've eaten since I landed in Thedas. No wonder I passed out.

"Tavern's just down the street. You should be alright to leave now."

I sit up slowly, taking the cloth off of my forehead and leaving it on the table next to the bed. Adan is at his desk writing in some sort of journal.

"Thanks a lot, Doc."

"Alchemist." he grunts as I leave the apothecary.

Judging by the sky, it was roughly early to mid evening. The air was starting to become nippy. I shiver as I stand outside the apothecary.

"Ana." It's Solas. Shit. I forgot his hut was next to the apothecary.

I flinch as my eyes travel to him. He's casually leaning cross-armed at the doorway of his hut. Hints of concern etch across his face.

I blush. "H-hey Solas."

"I was just about to eat. Join me."

Solas removes himself from the doorway and gestures with his hand for me to join him inside.

"I-In your hut?" My blush deepens.

"Of course. Is there a problem?"

Uh. Yes. You're indirectly the reason for this mess _and_ I find you incredibly attractive despite my better judgement.

I bite my tongue and shake my head and walk towards his hut while inwardly cursing myself for acting like a flustered adolescent with a schoolgirl crush in front of an elven immortal.

Solas ushers me to a small wooden table with two wooden stools on opposite sides.

"Apologies, all I have is water at the moment."

I shake my head and smile weakly as I sit down on one of the stools. "It's fine."

There is silence as Solas pours water into the cups and sets them down on the table before retrieving a bowl of fruit from the counter of his 'kitchen' area. If you could call it that.

I take a sip and the smile fades from my face when I remember that my emotional outburst began with Solas. He had begun to chop vegetables to make some sort of soup, leaving me with a _very_ nice view of his back and shoulders. And ass but that goes without saying y'know?

"Solas…I'm sorry for what happened earlier. I…was holding a lot of…emotions inside and they all came spilling out and I almost took them out on you. It was…unfair."

Chop. Chop. Chop.

"There's no need to apologize. I understand completely."

I take an apple from the bowl and take a bite and chew thoughtfully.

"Still…We just met, and I shouldn't have lashed out like that." I say, swallowing before biting into the apple again forcefully like a starving woman.

"I feel as if I should be the one to apologize." says Solas. He fills a pot with water and lights the burner on the stove with a small wave of his hand before he returns to chopping ingredients.

"…Why?"

"At the time, I did not realize your fragile emotional state. It was careless, and I should have followed you to make sure that you were alright."

I almost choke on my apple in a mix of surprise and relief. Thank _Christ_. If he followed me, I would have probably ended up throwing myself into his arms or something equally mortifying.

"N-no. You did the right thing by not following me. I wanted to be alone."

Solas stops chopping. He drops the knife on the counter and turns around. The expression on his face is neutral as he folds his arms across his chest and leans against the counter.

"A person in your condition shouldn't have been alone. Your body is still adjusting to the Mark and you hadn't eaten in days. Your health is _my_ responsibility."

He stares at me intensely and I avert his gaze, feeling my face warm up a little.

We don't say anything after while Solas finishes making the soup. I was too flustered, and he didn't feel he had anything else to say on the matter. When it was done, he pours a bowl for both of us.

I stare at the soup. It's green and hot. I'm…not very good with vegetables. It's the crunchy texture. Whenever I bite into something green, my brain registers it as not edible and attempts to dispel it from my body with a gag reflex.

"Well? Are you going to eat it?"

"I…uh…don't really care for greens."

Solas chuckles softly. "Is that so? You should have warned me before I started making it."

I scrunch up my nose and squeeze my eyes shut in embarrassment. "Sorry."

"What do you like to eat, then?"

"I…like most fruit. And rice. And pasta. And bread Meat is good too as long as it's the dark kind and not covered in vegetables. Ooh and fish! I like fish." I hate being a picky eater sometimes, it makes eating with others so difficult.

"Hm. I will remember that next time." Solas gives me a warm smile that turns my face into a furnace.

"N-next time? You're planning on making dinner for me on a regular basis?" Dear Lord this was not good for my blood pressure.

"Of course. I've been given permission to instruct you in the magical arts. Cassandra and Cullen were…hesitant but I reminded them that an untrained mage is more prone to…accidents."

"Oh…I see." I look at the ground in embarrassment my cheeks still warm. Stupid hormones.

"You thought I mean something else?" I could hear the pure smugness in his voice.

Bastard. He's doing it on purpose. Well…he was considered a god of mischief back in the day.

I laugh nervously. "I'm sorry. I'm just…tired. I haven't gotten any real sleep since the Conclave. Being unconscious doesn't really count as sleep, does it?"

"It does not. Come. I will escort you to your dwelling."

The walk to my hut was comfortably quiet. It was a clear night in Haven and the stars were brighter than I'd ever seen them. I walk with my head raised to the sky in awe.

I wonder if the Sun is one of those stars. I wonder how my family's doing.

I wonder if they even notice I'm gone.

When we reach my hut, we face one another.

"Well…um. When do we start training?" I ask.

"The day after tomorrow. You need a few nights of good rest first."

I smile. "Thank you. Good night, Solas."

Solas gives me a polite smile. "Sleep well, _da'len_."

My eyes widen, and I bow politely and enter my hut before the impeding blush took over my face.

Now I _know_ he's doing it on purpose.

A/N: Oh hey, an _entire chapter_ of original dialogue! Hopefully it wasn't terrible. I'm still really bad at this whole writing movement thing so apologies if the writing is super clunky. I'm in the market for a beta and/or someone to bounce ideas off of. PM me if you're interested!

Review and enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Solas POV**

The door slams in his face and an amused grin breaks across Solas' face. The young human woman is ridiculously easy to tease.

He knows he shouldn't do such things. After all, he had to maintain his non-threatening, unassuming wandering apostate persona.

There was something extremely off about this girl. When he mentioned that she was a mage, Ana had reacted with surprise, which didn't make sense at all.

The girl radiated magical energy. He suspected that her mana reserve pools were almost as deep as his own.

Solas assumes Ana is in her early to mid-twenties: far too old to have had that kind of magic to have gone unnoticed by either the Chantry or demons. She was hiding something. He did not sense any tagalong spirit in her essence. The girl's soul was her own.

More likely, she was hiding her talent from the Chantry for fear of being locked away in one of their circles for the rest of her life. But due to the Mage-Templar war, it shouldn't have mattered if she were a mage or not.

He was highly doubtful that the Mark could bestow such talents upon its user, but it was still within the realm of possibility.

Ana had certainly sparked Solas' curiosity. If he had the time, he would certainly investigate his suspicious. For now, however, he would train the girl in magic, keeping a close eye on the mark, for it surely would assist him in finding his orb.

He needs to be cautious, for the girl had apparently developed a crush on him.

Solas noticed her attraction the moment they met, and he found it…strange. Strange that a human would form such an immediate and obvious attraction to an elf. Most humans never really paid attention to him, and when they did it was usually in a derogatory manner.

Eventually he would have to actively discourage her attraction towards him before she grew enough courage to actively pursue him. It would be inappropriate, and he had no need for her companionship.

 **Ana POV**

I shift uncomfortably in my bed. I've spent the last few days unconscious and my brain was entirely too active to even fathom sleeping right now.

 _Da'len_ …

My eyes fly open and I quickly roll on my belly, so I could scream into my pillow.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I mutter, rolling myself to face the ceiling. I'm 100% certain that Solas _knows_ I have a thing for him. My subtlety skills are second-to-none. He probably sees me as the Thedas equivalent of a naїve schoolgirl with a silly crush on the history teacher twice her age.

In this case the age difference spans millennia but the comparison is still distressingly accurate.

Humiliating as the thought was, at least it would possibly throw off any other suspicions that he may harbor about me.

 _Possibly_ being the key word. The man was extremely observant, something that I was not.

A pathetic whimper escapes my lips. I'm dead. I'm _so_ dead.

After roughly another half-hour of tossing and turning, I decide the whole 'sleep' thing isn't going to happen, so I decide to go for a stroll.

At this hour, I'm hoping everyone's asleep. Sure enough most of the lights in the huts were dark. Except, of course, for the tavern. I notice several people outside conversing drunkenly.

My stomach growls. Surely if they're still serving drinks, food isn't too out of the question, so I mosey on into the establishment.

It's warm and cozy in the tavern, and I immediately notice Varric, sipping his drink in the corner by the fire.

 _Perfect_. I smile and wave at him to which he grins and beckons me to join him. An array of papers coats the table in front of him.

"Working hard, I see?" I ask with a tilt of my eyebrows.

"Trying to, at least. Shouldn't you be in bed, Bluebird? The Herald of Andraste needs her rest, after all."

I groan in annoyance and he smirks gleefully in response. "Not you too."

"Get used to it, kid. You're a religious icon now whether you like it or not." says Varric with a chuckle.

"Who makes these sorts of decisions anyway? Is there a committee or something?"

Varric shrugs and takes a drink from his mug. "Who knows?" He sets the mug down and picks up his quill, rolling it between his fingers thoughtfully.

"What'cha writing?" I ask.

"Letters to folks back home in Kirkwall."

"Anyone…from that wonderful book of yours?"

Varric grins. "So, you've read my work?"

I nod enthusiastically. "Of course! I love _Tales of the Champion_. I do have a few questions, though."

It's that moment when my stomach growls audibly.

"Hang on a sec, kid. I'll get you a loaf of bread or something. My treat."

Varric returns with a gigantic loaf of seasoned bread and a mug of…something. I immediately rip off a piece and start to chew ravenously. Tears prick my eyes _. Delicious_.

"Here ya go, Bluebird. Now, you said you had questions. I'm always happy to indulge my fans."

I swallow the bread with a large gulp and consider my first question carefully.

"So…where is everyone now? What are they doing?"

"Well…Sebastian went back to Starkhaven, and I'm sure he's boring all sorts of people over there. Carver and Bethany are with the Wardens. Isabela got promoted to admiral. Merrill's still in the alienage. Aveline is still Guard-Captain; I think Kirkwall would probably fall into the sea if she quit her job and Fenris is off killing Tevinter slavers last I heard."

"And?" So both the twins survived and both of them apparently became Grey Wardens. Still didn't answer my true question: Is Hawke a man or a woman and, more importantly, did he/she end up with Fenris?

"And what?"

"What about Hawke?"

"What about her?"

"Where is she now?"

Varric shrugs. "No idea. Haven't heard from her since the Mage rebellion a couple of years ago."

I grit my teeth in annoyance and bite off another piece of bread and washing it down with whatever liquid Varric had given me which I found out mid sip, was alcoholic.

Shit. I wasn't a good drinker. Two sips of wine and I'm a giggling mess.

Shitshitshiiiit. I stuff my mouth with another piece of bread.

"So…Bluebird. What's your story?"

I swallow and take another swig. It didn't taste awful and I was pretty damn thirsty so you know what? If I get drunk, I get drunk. Big freaking whoop.

I woke up in my bed the next morning with a pounding headache, and a numb tongue.

"Nrghh..." I sit up in bed slowly. How much had I drunk last night? Four…five…six mugs?

I had a vague memory of what happened last night. Did I _really_ …steal a guitar and belt out a terrible rendition of Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You' to the tavern patrons?

The guitar on the floor affirms that yes. Yes, I did steal a guitar.

I groan. I don't remember getting back here last night. I must have fallen asleep in a chair after the impromptu 'concert'.

I crawl out of bed and pick up the guitar. Guess I should give this back to the bard I took it from.

"No, no you keep it!"

I blink. "What? Why?"

Mirabelle giggles. "You kept saying 'This is a beautiful guitar, I love it so much' and then you started to cry because you missed playing your…vi-olin. I have plenty of guitars. That's my spare, actually."

"Uh…aren't guitars expensive?"

"It's not my only spare. I'll bet you have a lovely voice when you're not drunk. Maybe you could teach me a few songs as payment?"

"Um…Alright. Sure. That's fair."

I look at the guitar. It was of a simple design, and there really wasn't anything special about it. I suppose my drunk brain had felt comfort and familiarity in the instrument. That and I knew in a few years, I wouldn't be able to ever play any instrument ever again.

I sat down in one of the chairs, putting my newly acquired guitar in the seat next to mine. She needs a name…

A/N: This was a weird one. I think there will be one more filler chapter before we move on to the main plot. Thanks to **KotOR-Luvr** for letting me bounce a couple of ideas off of them.

Want to name Ana's new guitar? Gimme suggestions!

As always, review and enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So, I made a playlist that both sets the theme of the story and reveals Ana's tastes in music. (and mine, mostly) It's on Spotify just look up "Thedas Misery" and it should pop up.

 **Chapter 6**

"Hmm...I shall name you…Stevie." I murmur at my newly acquired guitar. The namesake came from, of course, Stevie Nicks, member of the band Fleetwood Mac, which for the record is one of my favorite bands of all time.

I put my elbows on the table and rub my eyes. My training in magic starts tomorrow and I wasted a good night's rest by getting drunk off of my ass.

At this rate, I'd never get a good night's sleep in Thedas at all. I was too exhausted and restless to get any rest at all. Perhaps I could ask Adan for a potion or something.

"You look like shit, Bluebird."

I grunt in response to Varric, my hands massaging my headache.

I hear a clink of metal hitting the table.

"Here. The best hangover cure in all of Thedas. Try not to gag when you drink it. It's worth it, I promise. Only takes a sip.

I moan pathetically, grab the glass and hold my nose while I take a sip.

He wasn't kidding about the taste and I immediately choke on the liquid spurring a violent coughing fit. Varric gives me a sympathetic grin, patting me on the back as I coughed.

"Where the _fuck_ did you get that?" Ugh I can still taste it. I wipe my tongue on my coat in a desperate attempt to mask the taste with something else… _anything_ else.

"The Hanged Man's bartender gave me the recipe. It's terrible, but it works magically. See? You're already feeling better."

I glare at the dwarf with as much venom as I could muster. I did feel a lot better, though.

Varric laughs and gives me a glass of water. I take it and chug the entire glass with gusto.

"Thanks." I say, placing the glass down on the table.

"You're welcome, C'mon. I've got breakfast for ya."

I shake my head. "Oh, no I couldn't. You've been so generous to me already."

"Please. You're going to save all of our asses one day. That's payment enough for me."

My stomach growls and I sigh. "Alright. I _will_ pay you back one day."

"If you say so."

I scarf down breakfast like a starving homeless woman.

"Thanks again, Varric. Um…I have a question?"

A smile breaks across Varric's face. "I'm assuming you have gaps in your memory? Lightweights such as yourself shouldn't drink as much as you did."

I stare at my feet sheepishly. "Yeah…I remember most of it but…didn't I pass out here last night?"

Varric nods. "You did. Mirabelle and I carried you back to your hut. You're very heavy."

The mental image of the two of them carrying my drunken ass back to my hut made me slam my forehead against the table in shame.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"Gotta say, Bluebird. You have some pipes." Varric says with a chuckle.

I groan loudly. "Glad those voice lessons didn't go to waste."

"Maybe when you're sober you could serenade us again."

"Nah. I'm not a musician anymore."

"Why not?"

"Long story. Not one I'm willing to tell. You understand, I'm sure."

A look of understanding etches across Varric's face. "That I do, Bluebird."

And with that, the topic of my backstory is dropped immediately.

I leave the tavern with Stevie under my arm. Maybe I'd spend some time with her today as stress relief. It's been at least two years since I touched any stringed instrument, so I had to get my callouses up. I still remembered most of the chords, though I suspected I needed to get a capo crafted to fully enjoy my new instrument. Perhaps I could sketch an approximation and give it to the smith.

I proceed to walk the path to my humble abode, forming an image of a medieval capo would look like.

Of course, Solas is waiting patiently outside my hut, book in one hand, bread roll in the other. He glances up from his reading at the sound of my footsteps and gives me a small smile.

"Hello, Ana."

I freeze. Damn it, I was planning on avoiding him today.

"Hi Solas. What's up?"

Solas blinks in confusion. "Why, the sky of course."

I groan inwardly. Solas accidentally made one of the worst 'dad jokes' of all time.

"No…I mean why are you sitting outside my door?"

"Ah. I came here to see how you were feeling. Varric tells me that you had quite the evening."

That loudmouth dwarven idiot. Of course he told Solas. My eyes twitches in annoyance.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night so I went to find something to eat. Varric was there and he offered me a few drinks and I…um… stole a guitar and sang for everyone. Terribly."

A light chuckle. "I see. How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm…alright, I suppose. Varric gave me some of his hangover cure. I just came to drop this off before I went to go and bother Adan for a sleeping potion."

"No need. I can brew you one myself if you'd like."

Ugh. Solas stop being so helpful. My heart can't take it.

"Oh…okay then. Thank you very much."

"It is no trouble. You need your rest and I am happy to assist you in achieving it."

My eyes widen, and my mind registers his statement in the dirtiest way possible and a blush starts creeping across my face as the mental image of him assisting me in 'achieving rest' forms and a flush of warmth and moisture attacks my lady bits due to said image.

 _Pervert, of course he didn't mean it like that._

I notice the corners of Solas' mouth tug subtly ever-so-slightly upward.

 _That bastard! He said it that way on purpose to fuck with me._

"Well…um. T-thanks anyway. I'm going to put this away now. Bye!" I squeak and enter my hut at lightning speed, slamming the door shut.

I hear the waning footsteps and breathe a sigh of relief and kick myself for being so easily flustered by coy innuendos. I was a mature and somewhat sexually experienced young lady. I'm no blushing virgin.

Granted it _has_ been several years since I've gotten laid.

Repress repress repress. Now is not the time. Worlds to save, rifts to close, all that jazz.

I spent the rest of the day sketching the model for my capo. I wasn't the greatest artist, so it took several unsuccessful attempts for Harrit to really understand what exactly I wanted him to construct.

Since it was allegedly winter, the day was short, and I found myself watching the sunset over the frozen lake sooner than I'd wished.

Throughout the day I'd mused upon how to handle Solas and his teasing because my blubbering encouraged such behaviors. Should I confront him?

No, no. That'd only dial up the embarrassment and I was humiliated enough as it is.

Maybe I could…try not to react as violently? I could do that, right?

 _Right_.

I find myself at Solas' door a few hours after sunset after a rather filling dinner and entertaining dinner with Varric.

I knock timidly.

There's a rustle of movement and a muffled "Come in. The door's unlocked."

I turn the knob and let myself in. Solas is at his kitchen, stirring what I assume to be his own dinner.

"Hey, Solas."

Solas looks over his shoulder and smiles. "Ana. It is good to see you. I'm just about finished with your potion."

I scrunch up my nose. "Is that what that smell is?"

My joke earns a soft laugh from Solas. "I find the taste and aroma repulsive myself, but I have an aversion to tea."

"So it's…magical tea."

"Hm. You could call it that."

I'd always loved the fact that Solas hated tea because it went against his stuffy and pretentious character stereotype. I dislike tea myself, but I could bring myself to drink it, were I forced to.

I scrunch my nose again. "I despise tea."

Solas laughs and pours the liquid into a flask and placing a cork on the top, handing its contents to me. "I see I've found a kindred spirit."

"Thanks again."

"You are welcome, _da'len_. Remember that we start your lessons early tomorrow so drink this sooner rather than later. I shall be going to bed shortly as well."

"I'll see myself out then. G'night, Solas." I silently congratulate myself for not reacting to Solas' use of _da'len_. One step at a time.

"Dream well, Ana."

A/N: Thank you for all of your guitar name suggestions! I didn't go with any of them, but they might be used in future chapters. Ana likes to name things.

Review replies!

 **WellShit** : omg. I'm so sorry I forgot to moderate guest reviews until I saw the email. Thankfully I did because your review made _my_ day. I've had to get my wisdom teeth out and it's a _miserable_ experience. Hang in there, friend. I'll try and keep this story alive.

 **KotOR-Luvr:** Thanks friend! Talking with you really helped with that section. Also Patricia is a fantastic name, but I went with Stevie.

 **sephchipmunk** **:** As in REO Speedwagon? Your train of thought is dangerously close to mine for I was going to name it after the band Fleetwood Mac, but I narrowed it down to Stevie.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Solas POV**

When Solas enters the Fade for the evening, he searches for the Herald's dreamscape. He was anxious to start her training, and in the Fade, it would be easier to assess her potential as a mage. Everything always came easier to him in the Fade.

He cloaks himself once he finds her individual dreamscape for multiple reasons. First, he wants to see if she could sense intrusions and second, he wanted to see what sort of place she would dream of without any knowledge of his intrusion.

Solas materializes into a large and open room with high ceilings and tall windows. The architecture and décor reminds him vaguely of Orlais, with a couple of small chandeliers and fleur de lis wall decorations.

Some sort of living area. It was very well kept and clean. At first, Solas assumes Ana comes from a wealthy family in Orlais, but then he realizes there are a few things off about this theory.

After further exploration, he realizes the house isn't large or extravagant enough. The second floor leads to one large room with a couple of side nooks and an attic. The bedrooms are also very small, minus the one with the large bathing area. One of the bedrooms is a complete mess with books and articles of clothing strewn everywhere in a chaotic fashion. The bed in that room is smaller than the rest, as the room is not large enough to fit a bed the size of the other three beds he's seen. It wasn't a house of Orlesian nobility.

The house was covered in images of a quality that Solas had never seen before. There were no brush strokes involved and the images themselves were like shrunken frozen memories. He saw many images of the same four people: a woman, a man, and two female children with the same stunning blue eyes.

Solas immediately identified one of the girls as Ana, albeit most of the images depicted her as at least a decade younger.

Then there were the strange contraptions. The living area and upstairs had a large black rectangle with the furniture arranged around said rectangle. Odd. There were several basins with levers in different areas of the house. Solas tested one of these levers in one of the rooms upstairs, away from the earshot of the dreamer, and discovered that they produced water.

Ana herself is curled up on one of the couches in the living area. There is a white rectangle blue dots in her hand. She's unaware of his presence so he leans over her shoulder to get a closer look at the white rectangle.

The surface has words not unlike the words on the page of a book, though he could not identify or read the script. Perhaps the function of that device was to produce literature.

Her face was serene, content. A far cry from the nervous, babbling girl that he'd gotten to know over the past week. It would be a shame to shatter such a restful state with his presence.

Solas didn't consider himself to be a heartless man, despite the popular consensus believing otherwise. Ana's dreamscape echoed with feelings of longing. It was obvious that she had no means of returning to this place and she knew it somehow. It was a feeling that he was quite familiar with as well, though that's where their similarities ended; his situation was one of his own making.

Of course, Solas was extremely curious about what he had seen here, but not curious enough to shatter her sanctuary and current piece of mind.

So, he leaves her alone to dream in solitude.

 **Ana POV**

For the first time in days, I felt like myself again. It's amazing what a good night's rest will do to your outlook on life.

Though…in Thedas, when you dream, it's not really like dreaming back home. It's more…conscious and I'm loving it.

No wonder Solas loves the Fade so much. For eight blissful hours, I was home. Well, home minus the three cats and the chocolate lab, but if they were in my dream, they would probably have been demons or spirits or whatever.

Small things. Maybe I could get a kitten once we get to Skyhold. I miss my sweet fluffy princess _so_ much it hurts.

Ah well, at least she has Dad to spoil her with treats and give her snuggles and belly rubs while I'm gone.

Now I've made myself sad. Great job, Ana. Way to ruin a perfectly good mood with sad thoughts about never seeing Tali'zorah's sweet little face ever again. Waaay to go.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at my door.

Right, this is my life now. Magic lessons with a fabled elven deity. I'd briefly forgotten that was today.

"Just a minute!" I yell, scrambling out of bed and changing clothes in record time.

Solas is waiting patiently outside when I exit my abode.

I wave sheepishly. "Mornin' Solas. Sorry about that. I was still in bed."

He gives me a small smile. "So the potion I gave you was effective I take it?"

"It was. I slept very well last night."

"Excellent. Then you feel well enough for training?"

I nod enthusiastically. "I'm ready. Can I eat breakfast first?"

"Of course."

After I'd sufficiently stuffed my face with enough cinnamon rolls to make my stomach wish I hadn't, I follow Solas back to his hut to retrieve materials.

He emerges with two plain staves and hands one to me.

"This one is yours now."

"So…Professor Solas, what are we learning today?" I ask. I hold the staff in my dominant hand and I feel…something pulsing through the metal. It's tingly and it's weird but I kinda dig it.

He motions for me to follow him and we make our way to the training grounds. "Basic staff forms. No magic today, I'm afraid. You must learn how to use the tools given to you properly before you start casting spells. It would be dangerous if you did not."

I nod sagely. "With great power comes great responsibility."

"That is very wise. Does that originate from your Chant of Light?"

I bite back my giggles because I'm pretty sure the quote originated from one of the old Spiderman movies with Tobey Maguire.

"I-I'm actually not sure. I've never studied the Chant. Just something my…Uncle Ben used to say." My voice cracks a bit when I say 'Uncle Ben'. Hopefully Solas doesn't notice.

"I see."

Solas gets right down to business once we reach the training grounds, explaining the many stances and staff positions.

The training grounds are quite crowded, though we are the only mages. I see Cullen out of the corner of my eye in his large fluffy coat.

Damn…what a fine-looking specimen of man. That jawline, those shoulders…That a—

"Are you listening to me, da'len?"

My brain snaps back to reality.

"O-of course I was."

Solas gives me a doubting look. "Were you?"

"Mhm! Very much so."

"Then which is the proper stance for casting a barrier? Can you show me?"

"I…what?" I feel my cheeks redden in embarrassment. This is why I was never good in school.

Solas chuckles. "Would you like to find an area less populated to train? You seem to be …distracted by the others."

I laugh nervously. "If it isn't too much trouble? I get distracted very easily."

"So it would seem."

Solas takes me further into the forest into a clearing populated only by the two of us. My severe ADHD still occasionally rears its ugly head, but it's easier to focus without the sounds of blades clashing and the lack of pretty commanders to ogle whenever Solas gets too technical in his explanations.

He's patient with me, repeating instructions without a hint of frustration whenever I ask him to do so, no matter how many times I ask the same question. During the practical part of the lesson, he adjusts my stances and staff positions with the utmost professionalism, never lingering for too long inside my personal bubble of space.

In all the fics I've read when Solas has to teach the Inquisitor something it's always a way of mounting the sexual tension between the pair with lingering gazes and prolonged touching and shit. Lucky for me, the _real_ Solas' lessons are about as sexy as a standard college lecture. He's taught this stuff before, I can tell.

By the end of the day, I was able to properly hold about half of the stances correctly.

I had a long… _long_ way to go.

Author's Note: So I actually had planned for Solas to confront Ana in the dream, but it felt…wrong and I hated the result. It's more in character for him to avoid the issue anyway. Also if you want to know what Ana's cat looks like, well just take a look at my profile image. (yes, that is my cat. Her name is Tali and she is the light of my life)

Review and enjoy folks!


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Two weeks pass in a consistent routine. I'd wake up, eat breakfast either with Solas, or Varric, then Solas takes me to morning training. I've been making some progress, I could successfully cast two defensive spells: a barrier bubble and a minor healing spell. It seems I'm predestined to play support in real life as well.

We've been working on the offensive spells as well, of course. I just have issues with…controlling the radius of destruction. I've set myself on fire a few times, frozen my feet to the ground once, and more embarrassingly, electrocuted Solas. All by accident, of course.

Solas says this is normal for a fledgling mage. 'Control must be learned by repetition' he said when I set my sleeve on fire for the fifth time. Thank Christ the tailors made sure that my clothes were enchanted with element resistances.

After morning training, Varric would drag me back to his hut for literacy lessons.

Turns out…Common script is _not_ Latin-based. I learned that the hard way when Varric lent me a copy of one of his books to borrow about a week and a half ago.

When Varric hands me the book I thought he was pulling my leg.

"Um…dude. This is in some other language. I can't read this." I said.

Varric gave me a look. "This is in Common."

I tilt my head. "No…it isn't."

"Yes…it is."

I opened the book to a random page and thrusted the novel into Varric's face.

" _This_. You can read this?" I asked, pointing to the letters.

"Um…yes?"

"Well, _shit_. Gimme a piece of paper and one of those writing utensils."

Varric handed me the pen he was using, along with a piece of paper.

I wrote ' _VARRIC TETHRAS'_ in all capital letters.

"Can you read this?" I asked, waving the piece of paper in front of his face.

"Looks like a bunch of scribbles to me, Bluebird."

I groaned loudly. "That's just _great_. Apparently, I'm illiterate."

Varric laughed. "You're obviously not illiterate. _Fenris_ was illiterate. That's different."

"So did you teach Fenris how to read?"

"Yeah. He picked it up pretty quickly. Broody was pretty determined."

I chuckled and accidentally let out a wistful swoon. "I'll bet."

"You a fan of Broody, Bluebird?"

I tried to hide my blush. "Um…I guess you could say that."

"Should've guessed. You've got a thing for tall elves that brood."

I glared at him. "W-what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just an observation. Don't worry about it. Chuckles won't hear it from me. Your secret's safe with me."

My blush deepened. "Alright. So…broody elves aside. Can you teach me?"

"Of course, Bluebird."

I was learning the alphabet quickly, though I would never be able to actually write the letters legibly. Hell, I can't even write in English legibly.

Usually after an hour or so of Varric making fun of my penmanship over lunch, Solas would take me back to the training grounds until the sun sets. Dinner is served, and I drift off to Fadeland a few hours later where I enjoy all the modern conveniences of home for a while.

I didn't see very much of Cassandra. She was usually holed up in the Chantry or whacking away at a training dummy. I could've approached her but after she manhandled me all across the Frostback Mountains, I felt as if she and I needed some space and time to think. She'll talk to me when she's ready.

Plus, she scares the _shit_ out of me.

This morning a firm knock awakens me from the Fade abruptly.

"Who is it?" I ask blearily.

"It's Cassandra. You're needed in the Chantry."

Woohoo. It's War Table time. I dress quickly and open the door to a passive-faced Cassandra.

"Alright. I'm ready."

The walk to the Chantry is awkward. Cassandra keeps stealing glances at my right hand.

"Does it trouble you?"

I give her a look of confusion until my morning-addled brain realizes that she's asking about my mark.

"Oh…uh. No. Usually I try to forget it's there."

"And that…works?"

I shrug. "Most of the time. It'll glow sometimes, but it doesn't hurt anymore."

"We take our victories where we can. What's important is that your mark is now stable, as is the Breach. You've given us time, and Solas believes that a second attempt might succeed – provided the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by."

"But…not impossible?" I ask tentatively.

"Correct."

We enter the War Room. The advisors are already hunched over the War Table, obviously in a heated debate. They stand at attention when they hear the door opening.

"You've met Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's forces."

"It was only for a moment on the field. I'm pleased you survived." Cullen smiles handsomely.

At least he didn't see me the other day ogling him during training. Ignorance is bliss.

"This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat."

"I've heard much. A pleasure to meet you at last." greets Josephine cordially.

"And of course, you know Sister Leliana." Cassandra gestures to Leliana who nods in acknowledgement.

"My position here involves a degree of—"

"She is our Spymaster."

"Yes. Tactfully put, Cassandra."

I put on my best diplomatic face. "A pleasure to meet all of you."

"I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good."

"Which means we must approach the rebel mages for assistance." says Leliana

Cullen scowls at the suggestion. "And I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well."

Cassandra returns the scowl with an equally impressive one of her own. "We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark–"

"Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so–"

Leliana waves her hand dismissively. "Pure speculation."

" _I_ was a Templar. I know what they're capable of."

Josephine, who had been observing the argument with a neutral expression on her face finally speaks up.

"Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you, specifically."

"That didn't take long." I comment dryly.

Cullen rolls his eyes. "Shouldn't they be busy arguing over who's going to become Divine?"

I snicker in amusement.

"Some are calling you the 'Herald of Andraste,' and that frightens the Chantry. They believe you come from another world, the Maker's Black City to be precise. The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you."

"Chancellor Roderick's doing, no doubt."

Josephine sighs. "It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question."

"So…it's now common knowledge that I claim to be from another world?"

"I'm afraid so."

Well, _shit_.

"That's just _perfect_." I mutter through clenched teeth. "Can we refute these claims? I'd rather not have to claim that I come from another world publicly."

Josephine smiles. "Of course."

Whew. Dodged a bullet.

"Wait. So, it's true? You're from the Black City?" asks Cullen.

I laugh. "The Black City part is complete lies. However…I'm not from this world. That is true. And I'd prefer to not spread that information around, so please be discreet."

"Understood."

I find a chair and put my head in my hands. "Dear Lord, I don't want to be any sort of Herald. Particularly of Andraste."

"I'm sure the Chantry agrees." Cassandra comments.

"People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some, you're that sign." says Leliana.

"And to others, a symbol of everything that's gone wrong." adds Josephine.

I groan. "I'm not cut out for this."

"None of us are." says Cullen with a tinge of sympathy in his voice.

"There is something you can do. A Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable. She should be tending the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe." says Leliana.

"So…you're saying I need to go and see her personally? Alone?" My voice wavers.

"I will accompany you." says Cassandra.

"Can…can Solas and Varric come?"

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. "Why? I should be sufficient protection."

"Solas is teaching me how to control my magic and he'd be valuable should we encounter anything relating to the Breach."

"Hm. I see your point. What about Varric?"

"He's fun and it's always good to have a rogue in the party?" I grin nervously.

"Hmph. Very well."

A/N: We're going on a road trip, ya'll! Are you excited!? I'm excited!

Review Replies!

Kotor-luvr: My ADHD is terrible and honestly I think my medication makes it worse if it didn't help me actually focus when I otherwise could not.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I spent the rest of the day packing for the trip to the Hinterlands. It would take us roughly a week by foot to reach Mother Giselle's last known location.

Meaning we had to carry a _lot_ of shit. Bedrolls, tents, food preparation tools, changes of clothing, soap, the poop shovel that I've named Michael, after my high school ex-boyfriend who decided college moving day was a good opportunity to break up with someone.

I was excited for the trek. I've gone on a few wilderness treks in Colorado with my church's youth group in high school and they were always an experience. I was hoping that this trip would bring me, Cassandra, Varric and Solas closer together as a team. Camping does that to people.

After I finish gathering my belongings, I meet Varric for our usual meal at the tavern. We had become close meal buddies in the past couple of weeks thanks to the literacy lessons.

I join Varric at our usual table. He's deep into his writing and he doesn't acknowledge my presence until he finishes the sentence.

"So, Seeker Cassandra tells me that we're going on a road trip."

I grin. "That's right!"

"Well, _someone's_ enthused at least."

I frown. "You're not?"

"I would be if we were going with more…entertaining traveling companions. Chuckles and Cassandra…not really the friendliest of people."

"Oh, psh. I'll be there! Aren't I fun?"

Varric laughs. "You have your moments, I suppose."

I roll my eyes obnoxiously. "Pleaaaaaase come with us." I beg.

"Hey, I never said I wasn't planning on going."

I perk up happily. "Yay!"

We leave bright and early the next morning, our packs loaded onto our backs and weapons at the ready in case we encounter anything unpleasant.

After about three hours of travel, my enthusiasm for the road trip was almost empty. The conversation was either stilted and awkward or heated and hostile. Solas and Cassandra would snipe insults at each other during any sort of conversation about current events or (God forbid) theological discussions. I stayed out of their spats but eventually I knew that I would snap at some point during this trip due to their consistent bickering.

Of course, Cassandra also bickered with Varric but it wasn't laced with hostility as with Solas. Varric knew how to defuse social bombs like a pro and I loved him for it.

My pack felt heavier and heavier the longer I carry it which was funny because I easily had the lightest pack out of the four of us. I only had to carry the fabric part of our tent and the food seasonings, along with my bedroll and clothing.

And it felt as if I were carrying 100lbs on my back.

We finally stop for lunch and I collapse on the side of the road, the weight on my back hastening my fall to the snow-covered ground.

Varric stands beside me and cackles.

"'This will be soooo much fun Varric! I can't wait for tomorrow'" he mocks in a falsetto approximation of my voice, eyebrows raised in amusement. "Still believe that, Bluebird?"

I glare at him and brandish my mage's staff above me in his general direction.

" _Solaaaaaaas_! Teach me how to turn Varric into a nug!" I whine pathetically, waving my staff in the air aimlessly. Varric mock-gasps in offense and dissolves into a fit of laughter as he unloads his own pack and sits down next to me.

Solas had found a rock to rest on while Cassandra had gone into the woods to kill us something tasty.

Solas lets out a chuckle and shakes his head. "I'm afraid transfiguration is beyond your skill level, da'len." His blue eyes glint in amusement.

My staff arm collapses to the ground in defeat and I groan in pain as I unclasp myself from my pack and hoist myself into a sitting position with my staff.

Cassandra returns with a dead ram a few minutes later and Solas uses it to cook something heavenly while Varric entertains us with a tale about the time Hawke rescued a bunch of Templar recruits from crazy blood mages featuring Cullen as the damsel in distress.

After lunch I was able to trudge through the rest of the day without collapsing of exhaustion. I knew I was ridiculously out of shape, but I didn't realize that I was _that_ out of shape. Back home, I would try to exercise roughly six days a week for an hour, but apparently daily exercise could not prepare me for this hellscape.

We stopped traveling as soon as the sun had begun to set, so we could have light to set up camp and find sufficient dinner.

Solas approaches me as I collapse on the ground in exhaustion, with his hands behind his back in normal Solas fashion.

"Ana. Would you accompany me to the forest?"

I give him a tired look of confusion. "Awhatnow?"

"Target practice."

I feel the bags under my eyes grow heavier. "Now?"

"Do you not want to improve your aim, da'len?" His tone laces with passive aggressiveness.

I groan and grit my teeth to stop myself from making a smartass remark. "No, sir."

"Then, come."

"So, what're we trying to hit?" I ask as we walk into the woods.

Solas holds a finger to his lips and leans in close. "Keep your voice down." he whispers, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Why?" I whisper back. I feel my cheeks heat up due to his proximity and hushed tone. I kick myself inwardly for my stupid hormonal reaction. Over the past few weeks, I've gotten used to Solas' presence.

Well…mostly. I didn't blush at every word he'd say like I used to. There were still some things he did that got a reaction out of me, such as whispering and standing inside of my personal bubble for too long.

"You'll spook the rams. This way." He walks over to a nearby tree and crouches, leaning on his staff for support. I follow his lead.

Ohhh..so that's why he's all hush hush. I would've known that if I'd had ever been hunting. I may be from the South, but my family pointed and laughed at redneck antics. Instead of hunting the deer behind our house, my dad would leave food on a platter and film them. Our woods probably boasted the fattest deer family in the parish.

"You see one already?" I ask.

Solas glances from behind the tree and gives an affirmative nod, and motions for me to move closer. I scoot to a position next to him and our shoulders lightly touch.

"There. Do you see it?" Solas asks in a low voice and points to a ram grazing and minding its own business.

"Yeah." I murmur softly.

"I am going to move to another location. We're going to flank it. Once I give the signal, attack it with lightning."

Shit. Lightning was my worst element. "Can't I use fire or ice instead?" I hiss softly.

Solas shakes his head. "No. Fire would make the animal inedible and ice would ruin the flavor."

"What if I hit you accidentally? Remember what happened last time?" Last time I electrocuted the Dread Wolf and he was _pissed_. I never want to go through that ever again because it was fucking _terrifying_.

"I will be fine. Unlike last time, I will cast a barrier for protection. Now, do you understand what you need to do?"

I sigh. "Alright. Let's do this."

We get into position, Solas behind the animal and me in the front. It takes a few minutes for Solas to get in position. I watch him closely for the signal.

I feel the hum of his magic as he casts the barrier bubble around himself. Sensing the unique signature of a mage's mana was one of the first things Solas had taught me. That way, I would never have to fear a magical ambush. Now, if a guy sneaks up behind me and stabs me in the back with a knife, I wouldn't be protected, but it was still a useful skill to have especially considering we're about to enter a Mage-Templar warzone.

Solas raises his hand. That was the signal.

Okay. I can do this.

Gather magic into left, Markless hand. Check.

Transfer said magic into lyrium infused staff for aiming. Check.

So far so good.

Maybe I could do this after all.

Point staff at target. Think lightning thoughts.

Breathe. Release.

My staff emits the lightning stream and I thrust the staff forward with my left hand.

The lightning bursts from the tip and…hits the target. The ram falls over with a clunk.

I grin widely and wave my arms wildly in victory, the adrenaline of success wiping away my trip fatigue for the moment.

"SOLAS! I DID IT!" I jump up and down happily.

"Well done, da'len." Solas returns the smile warmly as he picks up the dead ram and places it on his shoulders. "We should bring this to the others."

I let out a happy squeal and join him in exiting the forest.

The tents were set up and the fire was going by the time we got back to the campsite.

I enthusiastically volunteered to cook the meat, as it was my first successful hit target.

In hindsight…that wasn't the greatest idea because I had no idea how to season it or how long to cook the damn thing. The meat ended up over cooked and tasting funny. My traveling companions were polite about the eating experience, though Cassandra casually mentioned that maybe I should _probably_ let her and Solas take over the cooking for now on.

By the time we were finished eating and cleaning up the mess, the sun had set and the temperature had dropped exponentially so we collectively decided that it was a good idea to try and get some sleep because Cassandra strongly hinted that we were going to have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn the next morning.

My words, not hers. Cassandra would _never_ use the phrase 'butt-crack of dawn'.

Cassandra and I take one tent while Varric and Solas take the other. My bedroll is nice, comfy and warm. It's a shame there isn't an actual pillow, though I did fashion a makeshift one with my outer coat but it still felt hard as a rock I fidget in an attempt to get comfortable.

I hear Varric doing the same in the other tent.

"And _this_ is why I hate the outdoors." Varric grumbles to Solas, who I can just _hear_ smirking in response.

I snort. "Just that, Varric or is there more?"

Varric barks a laugh. "Gimme a few minutes, Bluebird and I'll get you a list. Say, you wouldn't mind singing us a lullaby, would ya? It'd make me feel more at home. I'm used to falling asleep to the lull of tavern music."

I roll my eyes.

"Fine but only because you asked nicely."

 _And because I'm bored out of my skull._

I end up singing several songs, some Stevie Nicks, a little Billy Joel, even some Elton John.

Varric started snoring halfway through my rendition of Keith Whitley's "When You Say Nothing at All", so I stop and lay back down into my bedroll.

"That was lovely" I hear Cassandra mumble sleepily. "You were trained as a musician?"

"Well…kind of. I don't perform much anymore."

"You have talent."

"Thanks, Cassandra." I roll to my side and attempt to will myself to sleep, but it doesn't come until hours later.

A/N: Whew. This chapter was difficult to write. Usually I have no issue with filler chapters, but idk writing this one was like pulling teeth. We're going to the Crossroads next chapter!

Review and enjoy!


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